I am responsible for my own happiness - 4 important lessons you can put into practice today
"I am responsible for my own happiness"
Earlier this week I attended RISE - a monthly women's circle. Journaling, holding space and sharing, yoga, mantras, and mediation...it's like, Tina Adorisio, who leads the circles took all my favorite things and put them into one amazing session! One of the mantras we said several times as a group was 'I am responsible for my own happiness.' I am a huge advocate of affirmations but this is one I had never actually used before. But as soon as said it out loud, I knew that I was speaking my truth.
Like many others, there are have been times in my life where I expected other people or things to bring me happiness - friendships, my job, my paycheck, my husband. Once I stopped letting other people determine how I felt about myself, about my day, and about my life, it was very empowering and it improved not only my own happiness but the quality of my relationships.
I want to share with you four important and practical lessons that got me there....
Happiness is created, not earned.
If you're not happy with something, change it. If you don't then don't expect things to change. Seems really simple but many people fall into a pattern of just complaining.
A really helpful thing to do is take the time to list out what makes you unhappy, happy, and what immediate and long term actions and changes you can make. It's okay to start will small changes - just get things in motion!
Happiness is a journey, not a destination
Life isn't a puzzle with a finite number of pieces that you have to put together. Life is fluid with ups and downs and times when it feels stagnant. Know that a getting a particular job or fixing an issue in a relationship isn't going to bring you instant and never ending happiness. You don't drink a bunch of water one day and think it's going to keep you hydrated for all the days following - you put it into your routine and continuously work towards maintaining. Happiness is something that you work on, strive for and maintain. Knowing this can help keep you focused, decreased disappointment, and help you enjoy the journey. Celebrate the milestones, celebrate the journey.
Do more of what makes you happy - and encourage others to do that same
I really turned this full blast in 2018 and I don't plan on turning down that dial any time soon! I have always liked rocks - so I took a crystal course, joined my local gem and mineral club and started attending monthly meetings. I have always wanted to a Tibetan singing bowl - bought one! And my happy list goes on and on!
Have you written down things that make you happy? Things you want to try or learn? Get to know yourself better and get into the habit of cultivating your interests. Take classes and workshops! Go to the library and get some books! And be present and mindful in the small daily activities that bring you happiness too. Make time for happiness and show in your actions that your happiness is valuable - if you don't, no one else will.
Do things that bring you happiness daily and also recognize what brings others happiness too - get excited with them, support them, and encourage them! I think this is especially important in romantic relationships. Treat others like you want to be treated, inspire and encourage each other to be better people, and grow together.
Challenge your narrative
People tell themselves a story that they see as truth and accept labels from others and put themselves in role. Know that you actually write the script, so you can change it. You are the leading actress, screenwriter and director of your life - change the story if you don't like it! The easiest way to start doing this is to be mindful of your inner dialogue and use affirmations. What you think, you manfest.
I hope this gives you some inspiration to bring happiness into your own life!
Below are a few affirmations related to happiness that you may want to try or adapt. Say at least one in the morning when you put on your gemstone Aura bracelets and again when you take them off at the end of the day.
- I am responsible for my own happiness.
- I choose to be happy and I deserve to be happy.
- I am in charge of how I feel and today I choose happiness.
- I am confident in my choices and make the needed changes.
- Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
- I live a positive life and accept an abundance of happiness into it.
In York Region? Next RISE Circle is 14 May in Stoufville - get your tickets now and I will see you there! Learn more about this monthly event in this Aura blog post.